If you’ve repeatedly been unsuccessful at love, you are probably holding on to some relationship habit, fear or pattern that is not serving your highest good. You can spend years in therapy analyzing your past or you can let it go and commit to making different choices. Here is
an exercise from my I Want to Be in Relationship class that may help you unchain your
unconsciousness from the past so that you can move forward in your quest from
real, lasting loving partnership.
Exercise: Ice the Past
On a piece of paper, I want you to write down all of your past love interests. Go back as far as you can (as far back as elementary school if you can). Make note of any unresolved hurt, pain, or
resentment. Write down everything that mentally and emotionally comes up for you. Take as long as you need, but do not intellectually engage with anything you write down. Meaning, don’t rehash every little thing that went wrong. (If you have a habit of over-analyzing your past situation, only write down the names of your past love interests and do not spend more than ten minutes on this exercise.)
Once your list is complete, fold it up and place it in a waterproof Ziploc bag, sprinkle a little sea salt* in the bag and fill the bag with water. Say this releasing prayer:
“I let of go of the past, so I can make room for my next big love. I put all past feelings of disappointment, resentment, abuse, fear and unforgiveness on ice. My past is now frozen and I am free. Amen.”
The scars of old relationships may never completely go away and in some cases may take a life time to heal. Our scars are what make us “spiritual beings having a human experience”. The purpose of this exercise is to stop adverse effects of your past relationships, so that you can
be open and present for your next love. I know it may seem kooky and woo woo, but it works! I promise.
*Sea Salt cleanses electromagnetic field which can contain the negative energetic residue of the past.