Since it's a 3-month and socializing is in season, here is my cheat sheet for how to be the most enchanting person in the room.
How to Enchant Anyone... Everyone
Care. I mean really care about the people you interact with on a day-to-day basis. Care about your partner. Your kids. Your neighbor. Care about the hipster coffee dude who pours your dark roast drip. Care about the customer service rep who just solved your problem. Care about your uber driver. Care.
Anyone you come in contact with throughout your day has shown up in your life for a reason and even if you do not know what that reason is, you can still open your heart and give them loving attention. And all the love you give is always eventually returned.To clarify this point for your ego, the return may not come from the person you're loving up, but the Universe always holds it in escrow.
Turn on the praise and appreciation. Make it your daily mission to let people know how much you admire and approve of them. As long as you do so from a place of integrity, you can always enchant anyone with a compliment and a "thank you".
Know what they want. Do not speculate or place judgement on other people's desires, instead create a channel of communication where they feel safe enough to share the true essence of their soul. (If you really want to rock their world, then put some energy into to helping them get what they want.)
Turn off all forms of criticism, manipulation and self-pity. The people around you can feel when you are in these states of mind and you become very un-enchanting.
Stop trying to get someone to make you feel good and start creating an energy of feel-good wherever you go. Ask yourself: How can I bring more love, joy, peace, harmony and abundance to this situation?
Listen like that's all you got to do. I know you're busy. So busy.But the greatest way to win the support of others (and unbusy yourself in the process) is to attentively tune your ears. Ask thoughtful questions, cease multi-tasking and give your full attention when someone is speaking. Go into an almost meditative state andlisten. (This works particularly well in romantic partnerships.Nothing is sexier than a person who listens.)
Remember and give attention to names, dates, interests, hobbies, holidays and anything else the people in your life hold as sacred. Lasting relationships, both professional and personal, are built on genuinely taking interest in the other person. If there is a relationship in your life that you value, make sure you honor what matters to them.
How this works in practice: USC Football is not high on my husband's hobby list. However, he has sat next to me on the sofa for every game since we met. He knows all the latest team gossip because he listens as I share every article and tweet I find interesting. He always cheers against our rivals Notre Dame and UCLA. Dude is really not into it, he's into me. Because I hold it as sacred, he's the best USC fan around. The experiences we've shared on college football Saturdays have become some our greatest memories and favorite inside jokes. And more importantly, formed a bond that keeps "I love you, husband" constantly rolling off my tongue. That's how you enchant someone.
(Here's the flip side for your ego- my husband would never go to a Dave Matthews Band concert. Never. For me to place this expectation on him is so un-enchanting. )
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