Someone has violated your trust.
Pissed you off.
Mistook your kindness for weakness.
Broke your heart.
How do you do handle it? We're all spiritual folks, journeying toward enlightenment, so we're suppose to turn the other cheek. Pray for our enemies. Forgive. Release and let go. And then continue on.
But what do you do when it really cuts you to the core? The offense of another leaves you so broken you don't even know where to start picking up the pieces. What do you do then?
I think what so many of us spiritual folk forget is that before we can turn the other cheek, pray for our enemies, forgive, release, let go and move on, we have to take care of ourselves. Self-care is just as much apart of our spiritual journey as all the other stuff.
When you've been hurt, self-care becomes your priority.
So how do you care for yourself when you've been wronged?
First, you feel your feelings. Be sad, hurt, pissed and overwhelmed. Talk it out with someone. Write in your journal. Punch the pillow. Do whatever you need to do to process the situation. Grieve.
Second, boundary-up. While you're grieving create some energetic distance between you and the other person. Tell yourself that you don't have to deal with the person who has committed the offense against you. Even if it is someone you see on a day-to-day. You can be polite, while maintaining some energetic distance. Now this isn't a cold shoulder, it's simply saying to yourself, “I deserve the time to work through my feelings. This is not about them. It's about me.” If your issue is with a coworker or someone you live with, take a mental health day. Go do something that makes you feel good, even if it's laying bed and watching the Twilight movie for the 8th time (well, that's what I like to do on my mental health days). Establish an energetic boundary that gives you the space you need to grieve.
Third, as you start to sort through your emotions and begin to intellectualize the situation, ask Spirit, your Guides and your Higher Self, “Why has this situation showed up in my experience?”. Now do not get me wrong, I am not making someone's bad behavior your fault. However, I am asking you to consider that everything in your life is as it is for a reason. Your only responsibility is to figure out what that reason is. An example from my own life- my last boss was a very mean, condescending lady. Just five minutes in her office could send me hurrying off to the bathroom to seek some solace. I now know that she showed up in my experience to give me the push I needed to finally get serious about launching my business. Maybe you need to learn to speak up for yourself or follow your intuition? Maybe it's time to find a new job or stop people pleasing? Maybe you need to love and respect your God-given magnificence and stop putting yourself down? Whatever the reason is, your situation appeared in your life to get you on track to your unique path to enlightenment. Figure out what that is, so you can get going.
Fourth, then take action. Start applying for jobs. Do some mirror work (looking at yourself in the mirror and saying “I love you”). Express to the person that wronged you that they can't treat you as they have. Take a class on establishing healthy boundaries. Start trusting your intuition. Write the business plan. Find new friends that make you feel good about yourself. Ditch the loser partner that makes you unhappy. Whatever the action is, do it. Once you're even slightly clear as to why something has appeared in your experience and start taking action, you will be able to do all the stuff spiritual people are suppose to do: turn the other cheek, pray for our enemies, forgive, release, let go and move on. Because you'll be in the space to do so. You'll be feeling good about you again. Self-care leads to feeling good. And feeling good is pretty darn spiritual.
I love you.