Amy’s Guide to the Art of Detachment
Detachment is one of the most powerful laws of the Universe. It is probably the most empowering skill I’ve learned in my spiritual journey. When I work it, the art of detachment has worked for me time and time again.
Detachment allows us to get into the space of the peace, joy and tranquility between what we desire and the manifestation of that desire. It is from this space that we can get out of Spirit’s way and allow the force so much bigger than ourselves come into our experience and create a miracle. Sometimes we are so attached to a particular outcome that we keep ourselves from the greatest blessings Spirit has to offer. Because our human perspective is limited, we often do not fully understand the magnitude of all we desire. Spirit sees our long term happiness and when we allow it, can bring us far greater joy. Detachment is a place of empowerment. It is accepting "life on life’s terms", while taking inspired action that will support us throughout our journey.
“In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty . . . in the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning. In our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of all possibilities, we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe,” The Chopra Center.
Let’s say you just interviewed for a job. You haveto have this job. You have bills to
pay and other financial obligations. This job seems like the solution to your problems. After the interview, you mentally replay every question you answered from the interview, you check your phone ten times an hour to see if you received a call back and you stop searching for another job. Instead of going out with your friends to have fun, you stay at home just in case they call. After all, in your mind, this is the job for you and it is the only solution to your problems.
In turn, you have set yourself up for devastation because you’ve held on so tightly to your desired outcome, that even if you get what you want, it will never give you the return on the emotional energy you’ve attached to it.
Detachment Action Steps
1. Know the truth of what you really want.
Let’s look at the example of the job from above. The want is the job, right? No, the true want is the financial security you think that job will provide. You want to feel financially safe.
In knowing the truth of what we really want, we can get into a space that allows us to welcome in a solution to our problem in whatever form it may take. If you could experience financial safety without working, would you be on board? Of course!
2. Let go!
Once you’re clear about what you want, let go of your perception of the right outcome. The only right outcome is that your desire is fulfilled, not how it is fulfilled. Here’s an example from my own life, my boyfriend and I had a big fight that led to us to decide to take a temporary break from each. I was devastated. I just wanted our relationship to go back to the way it was before our fight. I wanted him to call and apologize. Instead of waiting by the phone, or getting angry and complaining to a girlfriend, I got quiet and allowed my thoughts to focus on what I really
wanted. I wanted to experience the love, peace and joy of being in a relationship. I let go of the idea that this was the only relationship for me. I stopped imposing my ideas on what my boyfriend should and should not do. I released myself from the circumstances and focused my attention on the love, peace and joy that was already present in my life. Once I got into this space of detachment, within hours my boyfriend called. We both apologized and all was
well in our relationship again.
3. Accept the uncertainty.
Know that you don’t have all the answers. The sooner that you can come to terms with this idea, the sooner a solution will emerge. Not having all the answers is your ticket to freedom. It is from
the mental space of uncertainty that heaven can step in and bring you miracles far greater than anything you can imagine.
4. Commit to being happy.
This is one of the most powerful aspects of detachment. If you can mentally commit to being happy regardless of any outcome, you can welcome all that you desire into your experience. There are teachers out there that will tell you that happiness is all an inside job and in some regards it is. However, I believe that God put all these amazing things on this planet, so we can experience happiness. Whatever makes you feel good, do it! When you find yourself concerned with an outcome, the fastest way to detach from it is to do something fun. Laugh. Play. Relax.
5. Affirm: “All is working out for the greater good of all those involved.”
I love affirmations. I called them repetitious prayers to heaven. Growing up in a black church where spirituality was an all-day affair, I thought prayers had to be super long. Affirmations are
short and simple and get to the root of the matter. When you need to detach from an outcome quickly, when your emotions are working you into a frenzy, get quiet and repeat the above affirmations as many times as you need to so you can get back to your place of center. If this affirmation doesn’t work for you, create your own. Just focus on the “greater good for all”. A few years back, my mom got really sick. She was living 350 miles away, so I couldn’t be with her.
I was afraid she was going to die. My aunt was taking her to another hospital that was not covered by her insurance. What if they turned her away? I started to work myself into a worry frenzy of “what ifs”. I knew nothing good would come from that thinking, so I quickly stopped myself.
Instead, I turned to my affirmations. For three hours I sat outside and affirmed, “Everyone is always helpful. My mom is getting the care she needs.” Six hours later, my aunt called to tell me that my mom had received the emergency surgery that ultimately saved her life. Affirmations are not just for life and death situations, they can be used for anything, at any time.
Fear and worry are heavy feelings. They keep us stuck in our humanness. Detachment is a feeling of lightness. It allows us to soar in the totality of possibilities that only Spirit can bring. Practice
detachment in all aspects of your life, so you can experience more joy, peace and tranquility.
Amy Yancy © All rights reserved.