What a silly thought, right?
However, it is those type of silly thoughts that keep you (myself included) from fully committing your energy to having what you want.
In the New Age/self-help community these contradictory perspectives are known as limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs are the thoughts, energy and habits that get in the way of having what you want.
I want to unearth limiting beliefs for myself and my clients. I want to study them. Dissect them. Then I want to burn them to ashes.
Limiting beliefs kill dreams, opportunities, possibilities and authentic happiness.
I feel limiting beliefs are the number one reason we are not excited when we wake up in the morning. Successful. In love. Well paid. Appreciated. Supported. Accepted.
Despite our sincerest efforts, we often fall short of manifesting our desires because of our limiting beliefs. Here's the crazy thing- Most of them are not based on logic or truth. Moreover, most limiting beliefs do not make a lick of sense! Yet, we live and make decisions based on these beliefs.
Let's take my example from above:
My independence (my ability to think and take care of myself), in truth, only impacted my relationship status because I allowed it to limit my dating behaviors.
It took some time to uncover the origins of that belief. It was based on a combination of my parents' failed marriage, my love for Sex and the City and my appreciation for the feminist movement. So my mind took bits and pieces of these experiences and created the following equation:
Child of divorce + Sex and the City fan + feminist = fiercely independent &
In reality, my upbringing, tv preferences and socio-economical views have nothing to do with my ability to be in a relationship.
However, these are the connections the mind often forms. Against all logic, Spirit and consciousness, these fragmented thoughts, ideas and impressions dictate the way we live life.
Okay so my limiting belief was a bit complicated, but here are some common limiting beliefs:
That's the way it's always been done...
I don't have the right education/pedigree/genes to...
Rich people are evil.
My family/friends won't accept me.
I'm not rich enough to...
I should be farther along in life than I am.
I've tried before and failed so no use trying again.
I'm not skinny enough to...
I have to put others needs above my own or they won't like me.
I don't have enough experience to...
My Uncle Paul failed, so that must mean I'll fail too.
I'm too old to...
I have to earn it.
I may not find something better.
Because of the economy, I can't...
All the good ones are taken.
I'm not smart enough to....
I don't have enough time or money.
It's never worked out for me before...
It was like that in the past, so....
Do any of these feel familiar? If so, congratulations! You have started the process of uncovering the block that has been keeping you from having what you really want.
This weekend, think about something you desire.
A new job? Relationship? Cash flow? Reputation? Experience? Luxury item? Level of health?
Then ask yourself: What belief do I have that may be keeping me from having what I want? Write it down.
Now here's the question that will save you years of therapy and dissatisfaction: Where did that belief come from? And is that belief absolutely true? Is holding on to this belief worth a lifetime of unfulfillment?
Please know that a limiting belief is just a thought that has created a pattern of behavior and with some diligence you can always change the way you think.
Next week, I'll offer some tips to help you shift out of your limiting beliefs so you can get more of what you truly want out of life.
I love you,
PS: This post affirms my husband's belief that "Sex and the City ruins women's lives". (wink wink)