Both parties just have to decide that they want to heal the situation. As humans, we all have the gift of freewill. Everyone on this earth is born with the right to choose what they will or will not do. In order to heal a relationship, both parties have to agree to do the work.
"Yes, but..." is not a strong enough declaration to begin the healing process. "Only, if they..." won't work either. Your goal is to reach a place where on some level you are able to say "I want to be in this relationship and I am open to doing the work necessary to heal it."
Ask yourself: Do I want to heal this relationship? Work through your "but" before moving on to the next step.
Then ask your partner, friend, employer, client, colleague, family member, etc: Do you want to heal this relationship? Give them time to work through their "but" before moving forward. This step requires courage and patience. You have to be willing to accept the risk of them saying "No." either through their words or actions. If you are fully in your truth, you will be able to sense their agreement or disagreement.
As it is in heaven, so it is on earth. Please know that we are all connected, which means you may not need to actually have this dialogue in real-time. You can also do this work on the spirit plane in a meditation, by asking (with a sincere and wide open heart) their Higher Self or Spiritual Self if they would like to heal the relationship. You may receive a clear answer during your meditation, however you most likely will receive a clear sign or message from that person either through their words or actions AFTER your meditation. Again, you will be able to sense their agreement or disagreement.
You gotta come correct in Spirit land. Here's the thing with doing this work on the spirit plane- you have to leave your ego, hurt, anger and resentment at the door before going in. If you go in with even the slightest hint of manipulative motives, you'll make a bigger mess of the situation. Do this work for the highest and greatest good of all those involved.
Respect your process. Give yourself the time and space to do your self-work before proceeding with healing a relationship. Deciding to heal a relationship is a way of committing to letting go of your story around the situation. It is a form of forgiveness. For most of us, forgiveness, real-life-changing-forgiveness, is a process. Override the urgency of your hurt, anger and sadness by allowing yourself to feel all of your feelings. In doing so, you will move through your journey with an underlying confidence and grace no matter what the outcome may be.
Pay attention to what shows up. If the other person ain't coming correct (their words and actions don't match up)... that is a message. If you feel unsettled after you hear their response... that is a sign. If you feel like you're going round and round, but never moving forward... that is an answer. If any of these conditions show up, ask Spirit for very clear instructions as to how to proceed. Then act upon the intuitive guidance you receive.
If you are both in agreement, then the real-time work begins. Finger pointing your way through a drama or numbing out of the pain, is not healing a relationship. Having a meaning-filled conversation(s), that may get heated, impassionate, deeply soulful and challenges the way you communicate, is a part of the process of doing the work to heal the relationship. Depending on the nature of the relationship, sometimes this work is subtle and occurs between the lines of your moment-by-moment interaction. Either way, you will know deep down when the relationship has healed.
Lastly, the ache may not immediately go away. Sometimes healing isn't instant. That doesn't mean you are going in the wrong direction. In committing to doing the work, you are agreeing to do your part (and your part only) in nursing the relationship back to good health. Every healthy relationship requires time, presence and dedication.
Need some help doing your work? I work privately with couples and individuals. Book an Intuitive Coaching Session.