One of the ways I have coached clients out of the "lose yourself in love" trap is to help them get very clear about what they love about themselves and life. The things that you love the most about life are what make you feel the most comfortable and connected.
When you are comfortable and connected, you radiate self-confidence. Self-confidence is all consuming and keeps you living on the positive side of life.
When you're living on the positive side of life, you are less likely to engage in relationship-destructive behaviors. It keeps your attention focused on what is most important: building a healthy, lasting relationship with yourself. It from this place that you are open and receptive to loving, lasting partnership.
This exercise is awesome for both singles and partnered people:
Make a list of 10-20 things you love about yourself and life.
Have fun with this list and focus on things that make you feel comfortable and connected. Also, make note of why you love what you love. Don't judge any of your answers. Nothing is too mundane. Because it's all awareness. The more aware you are, the more reverence you will have for your partner, your relationship and the magic and beauty of being in love.
Examples from my list:
1. I love my intuition and spirituality. My intuitive and spiritual practices makes me feel calm and connected so I am better able to manage my stress. When I am relaxed, I love life.
2. I love buying paper towels in bulk. Having lots of paper towels on hand makes me feel abundant. When I feel abundant, I am open and receptive to love.
3. I love my voice. I use my voice to be in harmony with Spirit. This harmony makes me feel whole. When I feel whole, I radiate love.
4. I love to laugh. When I laugh, I feel loved.
Here's a bonus: Use this list as a way to determine if someone is the right fit for you. If Matt was anti-paper towels (and yes there are people out there who don't believe in using paper towels) or if he was a total skeptic about intuition and spirituality, then I would know that he was not the right person for me. This list can also help you stay in love. Matt is a really funny dude. Even when he's taking up too much space in the bed, I find it difficult to be angry with him because he's cracking jokes in his sleep.
If you're struggling with this process, then consider signing up for the Be the Love You Seek Teleconference. During the call, I will lead you through a powerful love meditation that will help you receive intuitive guidance from your romance spirit guides so you can more easily manifest lasting, loving partnership.
Be the Love You Seek Teleconference
Tuesday, 02/11/14 at 6:00 p.m.-8:00 p.m., PST
For more information or to register.